[But then he thinks of those that would still be alive if he hadn’t given into his worst self. Julie. Ray. The priest. All dead because of him and no one else simply because he kept lashing out and couldn’t stop. If ever Dex could feel bad about what he'd done, this would be the point. As it stands, he just knows those deaths didn't make him feel good the way it sometimes did when he killed other people. There was just a hollow feeling left over after those kills.]
I wouldn't expect that you had. You cause damage and that's something to consider if that's what you want to leave behind you or if you want to be better than that.
I never think much about those left behind after I kill. It's too easy for me to just move on without a second thought. There's only a few I still think about.
You don't try to think about them. You don't consider the idea that when you kill someone, that ripples beyond just that single person. It's frustrating how dismissive you are of the damage you do.
Try? There's no point in me trying, not when I can't miraculously make myself feel guilt about what I've done. I've given up trying to force myself to see something I'm physically incapable of.
For someone who is getting so invested in my fucking life, it's a little difficult for me to reckon with the idea that you have no interest in assessing the damage you've caused.
What do you want me to do then? Try to make amends? Balance out the scale? We both know there's nothing that makes up for taking a life. Not even saving another.
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Drowning in deep water with no way to get back to the surface.
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That's the thing about drowning, Dex. You get so desperate for something to hold onto that you'll pull someone else down with you.
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[But then he thinks of those that would still be alive if he hadn’t given into his worst self. Julie. Ray. The priest. All dead because of him and no one else simply because he kept lashing out and couldn’t stop. If ever Dex could feel bad about what he'd done, this would be the point. As it stands, he just knows those deaths didn't make him feel good the way it sometimes did when he killed other people. There was just a hollow feeling left over after those kills.]
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